Yes, I wanted a bigger penis. You got a problem with that?
The question was: how should I go about enlarging my penis?
One option was to use a penis extender. Someone recommended the SizeGenetics extender. This was the first commercially available extender and it’s still considered the best.
SizeGenetics is a device that gently pulls your penis all day long. The result of this continuous pulling is a longer, and possibly thicker, penis.
The problem is that you have to wear the SizeGenetics device under your clothes as you go about your daily business. SizeGenetics is supposed to be comfortable, but still.
The other problem with using a penis extender like SizeGenetics is that it takes months to see real results. I was too impatient and decided to check out penis surgery instead. So I talked to the doctor’s assistant, Doug, about the logistics of surgery.
With penis surgery, the doctor basically pulls out some hidden, or retracted, penile tissue. This then becomes your real penis.
The operation would require some time and effort to take effect. Doug said that after the surgery, I would need to stay home from work for two to three days and to abstain from sex for four to six weeks.
What’s more, to ensure the success of the operation, I would have to wear 2 pounds of specially designed weights around my Spear of Wotan to keep my new penis from retreating into my abdomen.
“Two pounds?” I gasped. “Wouldn’t that hurt?”
“No,” Doug assured me. “Some guys go up to 4 pounds.”
“And how do I know how much extra material I’ll get?”
“There’s no guarantee that the amount inside will translate into an equal amount outside,” Doug said. “It might be an extra half inch or as much as 3 inches.”
Fortunately, buying an enlarged penis is not like buying, say, upholstery; you don’t pay by the inch. The operation would cost the same $3,900 whether I got major enhancements or minimal improvements.
Doug also discussed the possibility of having my penis widened using a device called ProExtender. This could be done by taking skin grafts from other parts of my body and depositing them beneath the skin on my penis, thus fattening things up.
Specifically, according to Dr. Mann’s literature, this would “usually” result in “girth increase” of 1 to 1 1/2 inches. Widening would run me $4,900, but a special comprehensive penis-lengthening-and-widening package was available for the bargain price of $5,900.
Because penis enhancement is usually considered “purely cosmetic” surgery, Doug explained, my insurance company would not cover the cost. In one sense, this works in the patient’s favor: Imagine calling in sick to work for three days because you’d just had your penis enlarged and writing that on all relevant medical claims.
Ultimately I think I’m going to try SizeGenetics instead. It sure is a lot cheaper!
And the company that manufacturers SizeGenetics has a pretty cool offer on the table. If you take a “before” photo of your penis, then enlarge your penis using SizeGenetics, and then take an “after” photo, you then send this photo testimonial to the company, they will refund the entire purchase price.
So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to buy SizeGenetics and then try to get my money back. And, in the process, make my penis bigger!